Being punished by the whipsMonkey News

Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie

Boris Johnson has told Jeremy Corbyn, that his Dad is harder than Jezza’s Dad and if he doesn’t get a general election, his Dad will be round to give him a jolly good thumping.

The inclusion of Boris’s Dad in the argument represents a serious racking up of tension between the two boys. Initially, Boris had threatened to send his brother Jo round to do the duffing but the elder sibling declined, stating that Bozo was ‘a spoilt little brat’.  

Not to be outdone Jeremy told Bojo “I’m not scared of your Dad, he eats his own bogeys, I’ve seen him” and then upped the ante by saying that “You can’t have an election, it’s mine, you’ll only go and spoil it you cry-baby. ”

This last remark doesn’t appear to have led to a softening of Johnson’s position.

In a startling development, Boris’s Nanny interjected. “BooBoo, if you don’t play nicely I will have to take Mr Snuggles away again.”

However, it seems that neither party is prepared to give way. Friends have rallied round and made suggestions of ways to settle the dispute. Unfortunately, Noughts and Crosses, Slaps and Thumb Wars were all deemed unsuitable.    

Mr Bercow, the boy’s Headmaster was equally frustrated by their behaviour, “I’ve tried the usual punishments; lines, the naughty step and the Dunce’s Cap but nothing seems to work. Now, this year’s nativity play may not go ahead. You can’t stage a Christmas Play without a couple of asses.

Please Support Chatty by buying a Tee Shirt

Faced with an incessant shouting match, that’s descending into evermore ridiculous playground insults our options seem limited. However, as voters there is always the None of The Above option. Let’s vote them out, We are not saying the replacements will be any better but it will serve as a reminder to the new batch as to what can happen.

We have made a Tee Shirt, to promote this excellent idea. £14.99 including P&P. Just click on the image to choose your size and colour.

If you don’t want a Tee Shirt, then please consider using the #NoTA on Twitter and Facebook.

None of The Above