Following a weird Tory political broadcast in which our Boris claimed he “loved Marmite”, the purveyors of that distinctive delicacy have demanded that the nation as a whole has its say.
Marmite spokesman, Ian “yeast” Napton said:-
“No more individual questioning and starkly differing opinions – lets go for a referendum. A once and for all definitive statement of the nation’s view on our wonderful product. We’re not absolutely sure if a BoJo endorsement is what we want, but let the voice of the British people be heard”
Opinion poll pundits are suggesting a pattern similar to the Brexit vote – 37% Leave it, 34% Keep it and 29% not caring enough to vote.
Ulster Unionists are for leaving it as it doesn’t taste good with the traditional Ulster Fry.
In a further twist, in a direct to appeal to Labour voters in the North, Boris declared his love for fish and chips on a cold night (and wet in South Yorkshire). Chippie owners are convinced the man has a screw loose as he’s probably never tasted the true northern version.
Another referendum on who fries the best will follow shortly.
Meanwhile, Brexit continues