Fri. Oct 23rd, 2020
Marmite

Following a weird Tory political broadcast in which our Boris claimed he “loved Marmite”, the purveyors of that distinctive delicacy have demanded that the nation as a whole has its say.

Marmite spokesman, Ian “yeast” Napton said:-
“No more individual questioning and starkly differing opinions – lets go for a referendum. A once and for all definitive statement of the nation’s view on our wonderful product. We’re not absolutely sure if a BoJo endorsement is what we want, but let the voice of the British people be heard”

Opinion poll pundits are suggesting a pattern similar to the Brexit vote – 37% Leave it, 34% Keep it and 29% not caring enough to vote.

Ulster Unionists are for leaving it as it doesn’t taste good with the traditional Ulster Fry.

In a further twist, in a direct to appeal to Labour voters in the North, Boris declared his love for fish and chips on a cold night (and wet in South Yorkshire). Chippie owners are convinced the man has a screw loose as he’s probably never tasted the true northern version.

Another referendum on who fries the best will follow shortly.

Meanwhile, Brexit continues

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By jagsie

Jagsie is a curmudgeonly old soul. He is not a great fan of the current American President as you can tell from some of the stories. We keep him around to remind the younger chimps of their future!

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!