A Highgate school has ‘vehemently rejected’, an angry parent’s plea, to allow her child to continue schooling as normal.
Self-proclaimed ‘shakra and vibration guru’, Olivia Napton, claims that as ‘an energy shaman’, she should be considered a ‘key-worker’, therefore allowing her daughter Brabantia-Dragonflower, uninterrupted education.
Speaking passionately, Napton argued, ‘At a time of national crisis, it’s imperative that I am free to heal the afflicted. I plan to clang my gong and perform a healing dance, outside every major London hospital.’
Responding rapidly, the Highgate head, who wishes to remain anonymous, riposted, ’While we appreciate Ms Napton’s dedication, leaving Brabantia at the gates and running off, wasn’t entirely appropriate.’
Continuing wryly he went on, ‘It’s regrettable that Brabantia’s ‘’lively disposition’’, adversely affects Ms Napton’s energy field but a perhaps daily P.E session with Joe Wicks, will be a mutually affirming spiritual activity.’
Farage Riots – Season Two ‘Not as good as the original,’ says TV Critic
This summer brought season two of the hit series The Farage Riots to our screens. The new series aired relentlessly on all the major news channels. As the nation continued to scroll through online shopping apps on their phones, reporters came in their pants with excitement as cheap tracksuit-wearing football fans set about burning down…
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“Poor people must work harder!” says Farage
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Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News
The Chatty Chimp 