A Highgate school has ‘vehemently rejected’, an angry parent’s plea, to allow her child to continue schooling as normal.
Self-proclaimed ‘shakra and vibration guru’, Olivia Napton, claims that as ‘an energy shaman’, she should be considered a ‘key-worker’, therefore allowing her daughter Brabantia-Dragonflower, uninterrupted education.
Speaking passionately, Napton argued, ‘At a time of national crisis, it’s imperative that I am free to heal the afflicted. I plan to clang my gong and perform a healing dance, outside every major London hospital.’
Responding rapidly, the Highgate head, who wishes to remain anonymous, riposted, ’While we appreciate Ms Napton’s dedication, leaving Brabantia at the gates and running off, wasn’t entirely appropriate.’
Continuing wryly he went on, ‘It’s regrettable that Brabantia’s ‘’lively disposition’’, adversely affects Ms Napton’s energy field but a perhaps daily P.E session with Joe Wicks, will be a mutually affirming spiritual activity.’
Uxbridge chooses Boris Johnson as their Village Idiot
Boris is such an idiot that he struggles to find Uxbridge on a map, let alone visit the place.
Hunt hails ‘historic’ budget as he unveils free doggy day care for all
Free doggy day care and some other rubbish about pension benefits for the rich and the workhouse for the sick, disabled and over-fifties.
Waitrose opens a Tory Refugee Centre in Guilford
Right-whingers have become an oppressed minority and they need somewhere safe to be racist, sexist homophobic royalists.
Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News
The Chatty Chimp 