Rumours in Whitehall are rife today the health secretary, Matt Hancock, is preparing an expletive filled speech concerning the Covid-19 crisis with people not observing the social distancing guidelines.
A department of health source close to Hancock refused to confirm or deny such a plan was in existence, commenting, “All I can say is there are an awful lot of post-it notes stuck around his office with the usual f**kers, c***s and w***ers on them” – they added, “He also got staff to drag young people in off the street to discuss urban language, and now there’s words stuck around we’ve never heard of”
It’s thought the plan for the health secretary to deliver the speech instead of the Prime Minister is due to Hancock looking and talking slightly less like a toff, plus ‘Matt’ instead of ‘Boris’ sounds more ‘right on’
UN Criticises Priti Patel for using Doctor’s receptionists to repel migrants
This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
Unlike Gavin, can you tell if this man plays rugby or football?
The man can’t tell the difference between rugby and football, it’s outrageous. It’s just not cricket!
Guild of Fairies denies any association with Boris Johnson
The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren’t too chuffed either.
