Rumours in Whitehall are rife today the health secretary, Matt Hancock, is preparing an expletive filled speech concerning the Covid-19 crisis with people not observing the social distancing guidelines.
A department of health source close to Hancock refused to confirm or deny such a plan was in existence, commenting, “All I can say is there are an awful lot of post-it notes stuck around his office with the usual f**kers, c***s and w***ers on them” – they added, “He also got staff to drag young people in off the street to discuss urban language, and now there’s words stuck around we’ve never heard of”
It’s thought the plan for the health secretary to deliver the speech instead of the Prime Minister is due to Hancock looking and talking slightly less like a toff, plus ‘Matt’ instead of ‘Boris’ sounds more ‘right on’
Tories feast on the rotting and bloated flesh of another failed leader
Tories delight “It’s just like the good old days” says one MP as he prepares to feast on another failed leader.
What A Solar Flare Up! Council in climate change cock-up
These buildings are an outstanding example of the most boring, uninspiring and depressing architecture in Britain and they should be protected.
Charitable Chatty raises funds to buy Boris a lifetime supply of condoms
Let’s club together and make sure that no more children have to suffer the shame of admitting Boris is their Dad.
