Rumours in Whitehall are rife today the health secretary, Matt Hancock, is preparing an expletive filled speech concerning the Covid-19 crisis with people not observing the social distancing guidelines.
A department of health source close to Hancock refused to confirm or deny such a plan was in existence, commenting, “All I can say is there are an awful lot of post-it notes stuck around his office with the usual f**kers, c***s and w***ers on them” – they added, “He also got staff to drag young people in off the street to discuss urban language, and now there’s words stuck around we’ve never heard of”
It’s thought the plan for the health secretary to deliver the speech instead of the Prime Minister is due to Hancock looking and talking slightly less like a toff, plus ‘Matt’ instead of ‘Boris’ sounds more ‘right on’
Hunt hails ‘historic’ budget as he unveils free doggy day care for all
Free doggy day care and some other rubbish about pension benefits for the rich and the workhouse for the sick, disabled and over-fifties.
Waitrose opens a Tory Refugee Centre in Guilford
Right-whingers have become an oppressed minority and they need somewhere safe to be racist, sexist homophobic royalists.
BBC makes a Schrödinger’s Apology to St Gary of Lineker
When is an apology not an apology? “Usually when you have done something wrong!” Says Sigmund F
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