Remember to delete your browsing history before you're admitted to hospital

With rapidly rising death rates, the Government are appealing to people to delete their internet browsing histories.

As people die suddenly, families are trawling through computers and laptops, in search of accounts with money in. Much to their surprise, they’re discovering some rather sensitive material.

Gillian Napton takes up the tale. “After we lost Grandad, Nan got a computer so that she could stay in touch with the family. Sadly, the Corona Virus took her. I went through her internet history, just to make sure we hadn’t missed anything. I couldn’t believe it. There were a large number of searches for BBC. It seemed innocuous enough, I thought she had been keeping up to date with current affairs and Eastenders. Turns out that wasn’t what BBC meant at all. I’m just glad that little Colin didn’t come across it before I did! It would give him a serious inferiority complex.”

Oh, so that is a BBC — Grandma looking at BBC

This is not the only case. One family in Guilford were appalled to discover Grandad’s predilection for Cuckoldry and Mexican Donkeys. Meanwhile, a relative in Maidenhead discovered that a lonely uncle had an unknown passion for the work of One Direction.

A Government IT wizard is urging people to use Private Browsing and Incognito modes when surfing the web. “Please don’t destroy those precious family memories because of a harmless passion for BBW Jelly Wrestling. Delete your internet history. Be safe.”