Her Majesty The Queen is to announce to the nation that she is willing to receive 30% less money from the taxpayer.
“In these difficult circumstances, one recognises that one must do one’s bit to contribute towards the national effort. Although one has radically slimmed down the active Royal family in recent times, one feels the need to do more. Philip and one joined in with all the clapping, but one still wishes to help further. The Duke of Cambridge tells one that footballers are taking a 30% pay reduction, so one has decided to match their sacrifice. We shall overcome these financially challenging times together.”
The announcement means that Her Majesty’s income for 2020 could be as low as £14 million, meaning that she could struggle to maintain all of her palaces and staff and it’s likely lesser Royals and their households will have to be furloughed. It’s not looking good for Princes Andrew and Edward and their families.
The nationwide lockdown is causing wider problems for the Royal Family, too. Free days out at flower shows and sporting events are currently curtailed. The Duchess of Cambridge is known to be particularly upset.
Meanwhile, despite the sacrifices the Windsors are making, the monarchy continues.
Here are some recent stories
As Cummings goes, the Twatter porn censor algorithm is relieved
Once people realised that Twatter censored Cummings, then they started varying the spelling, that was when things really got out of control.
Makers of Giuliani’s hair dye deny any responsibility for streaking
‘It wasn’t us’, claim the makers of Rudi Giuliani’s hair dye.
Government mind control AI as effective as their other IT projects
Plans to use available technology to control the minds of the general public have been thrown into disarray with the going of Cummings.
