Viewers noticed a blessed silence when they tuned in to Good Morning Britain, as Piers Morgan was surprisingly absent.
The accident happened as Piers was sitting astride his High Horse. In good form, he was telling everyone why they were wrong about everything, and reminding them of how brilliant he is when suddenly, his horse bolted.
This left the much-loved presenter unceremoniously dumped on his enormous arse. The injury is so serious that he is unable to talk.Chatty Chimp News
His co-host, Susanna Reid couldn’t comment on the accident as she has been unable to stop laughing.
Reflecting his exalted status, Piers’s High Horse is taller than standard, measuring 21 egos from hoof to shoulder. Its colossal size means that any accident carries a significant risk of injury. It’s understood that Mr Morgan’s arse is very swollen, and he won’t be able to use it for a couple of days. This pleases many people.
The accident’s cause is unknown. When sat on his High Horse, it’s difficult to get Piers to move. Polite debate, clearly expressed statements and well-presented, evidence-based argument leave him unmoved. Reports that Gary Lineker was in the area around the time of the incident are unconfirmed.
As one of the country’s biggest High Horses, the beast generates a ton of horseshit and every morning Piers shovels this into the nation’s homes.
There is concern that several days of inactivity will lead to a massive backlog, and that Piers will swamp early morning TV viewers with more shit than they can handle.