Tue. Jan 25th, 2022

Anthropologists have been called in by Black Rod after the discovery of an isolated tribe of SpAds (Special Advisers) living in the Palace of Westminster. The discovery happened accidentally after builders discovered a previously unknown complex of rooms in the basement of the building.

Prof. Urbane Smartfellow, a renowned anthropologist is incredibly excited by the discovery. “Nobody has ever found anything like this before”, he told the Chimp. 

We are trying to work out how long they’ve been there and what their original assignment was. It is incredibly difficult because they have evolved their own complex language which, we think, originated from political rhetoric with elements of management speak and psycho-babble with the scripts of Yes Minister thrown in. We have tried to communicate, but so far we can’t get a definitive answer to any questions we ask.

Professor Urban Smartfellow

The presence of children is a clear indication that they’ve been reproducing, but it’s not known for how long. They managed to acquire internet access and on-line shopping, but is it clear that this is a relatively recent addition. They seem to have survived thus far by requisitioning buffet lunches from the Houses of Parliament restaurants.

Arguments are building between the political parties, none of whom admit to being responsible for hiring the SpAds in the first place. All attempts at discovering the political allegiance of the SpADS has been frustrated. “It appears that the policies they have devised are so impenetrably convoluted that even the politicians can’t understand them” said a MP who wishes to remain anonymous. “We may have to set up a working party and hire another cohort of SpAds to investigate this group” they went on (and on) to say.


By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

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