Priti Patel to cut homelessMonkey News

Priti Patel plans to cut homeless people in half, literally

With their hands full mismanaging Covid and Brexit, the government is struggling to keep up with some of its 2019 Manifesto promises. However, Home Secretary Priti Patel has been working hard to ensure that at least one Tory promise isn’t forgotten.

The plan to eradicate homelessness by killing off all the homeless people is front and centre, and notices have been posted on the London Underground to announce the unhappy end awaiting those who call the cold and callous streets of the Capital their home.

The policy is a high profile one in Tory circles, and if its implementation is as successful as hoped, it will be utilised in dealing with other undesirables. Criminals, immigrants and Remainers who won’t shut up about Brexit, are likely to find themselves receiving a mention in the 2024 Manifesto, Chatty has been informed.

A spokesman for Number 10 praised the Home Secretary for her forthrightness in the poster advertising campaign.

They can’t say they weren’t warned.”

Meanwhile, the government continues.

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