“Why would we bother spying? We recruited most of your civil servants, bought the government and even have our man in the Lords!” says Vlad the Bad
UN Criticises Priti Patel for using Doctor’s receptionists to repel migrants
This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
The Met reclaims streets from Clapham Common protestors
The Met reclaims the streets from women standing quietly, holding candles and remembering the life of a woman, brutally murdered by a man.
Priti Patel claims she is innocent after massive pay-off to bullying victim
We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway suggests that Priti Patel is guilty, absolutely not.
Priti Patel’s office accidentally organisers her deportation
The Home Office was thrown into panic today after a mistake by an intern led to Priti Patel authorising her own deportation. It appears that Ms Patel’s personal details were given to […]
Bullying claims denied after Priti Patel makes Boris Johnson shit himself
The shitting was incidental and in no way connected to Priti Patel, who is a kind, gentle, loving person.
Priti Patel plans to cut homeless people in half, literally
With their hands full mismanaging Covid and Brexit, the government is struggling to keep up with some of its 2019 Manifesto promises. However, Home Secretary Priti Patel has been working hard to […]
Priti Patel announces new points based immigration test
Priti Patel announces new points based immigration test based on a Painter’s Colour Chart