In a bid to make changes to COVID regulations more predictable and understandable for the public, future changes will be decided using a daytime TV game show format.

The show is called ‘WTAF‘ and will pit four members of the public against a different cabinet minister in every episode.

The premise of the game is that the cabinet minister gets ten minutes to brief the regulations and contestants are then allowed twenty questions to discover ‘What The Actual Facts‘ are.

If the players correctly discover the facts, the regulations are immediately put into force and they each win an on-line shopping slot and a COVID vaccination. If they get it wrong, the Minister wins a lucrative medical supply contract for their nominated off-shore company and the country goes into full lockdown until the next show.

It’s an absolutely splendid idea. If the contestants win, we can blame them for any surge in infections; and if they lose, we blame them for the lockdown. If they complain, we let slip our Social Media Troll army to nudge then into submission. Fantastic. It’s an accountability free zone for the Ministers involved.

Sir Hampton-Puller, Shyster-in-Chief