A man who lives in many palaces and other homes has visited a homeless project in the north of England.

Prince William, the Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Carrick, Baron of Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland and Prince of Wales visited the shelter for people who can’t afford their own p(a)lace without a hint of irony in his voice, and studiously avoided questions about his wife by making it clear in advance that anybody with the temerity to ask about her would be thrown in The Tower to await their head being “cut awf.”

The project’s long-term objective is to reduce future homelessness. At last count, the Prince is estimated to have 1,487 spare rooms in his homes, but is yet to offer any of them out. “The Prince is interested in homelessness,” a spokesman for Kensington Palace told us, “But not that interested.”

Online, Twitter is awash with speculation that the Prince attended the site in Sheffield to make discreet enquiries as to whether they’d have space for a single mother with three children, should such an unfortunate single parent family find themselves in need of help.

Meanwhile, Shelter reports at least 309,000 people are homeless in England, and the Monarchy continues.