Italy v England, what’s the difference?
Having relegated Middlesbrough, we thought Gareth Southgate was perfect for the England job, says FA Spokesman.
Rumours of The Chatty Chimp’s demise were a little previous
Chatty's back and he's bloody annoyed with England's plastic patriots. You've woken him from his afternoon nap.
The Boris Johnson apology template to be used by Matt (TFH) Hancock
The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
Long lost Charlie Duckins poem discovered in Chatty’s archives
I wish I was your bumble bee, my heart all true and solemn, I’d buzz around your honey-pot and suckle…
It’s time for The Chatty Chimp to wander off in search of a new tyre swing
The Chatty Chimp says goodbye.c
Everyone thinks Minister is a soulless machine as he fails The Turing Test
Audience identifies minsters responses as a machine. Turing left baffled.
BBC News in meltdown as young Prince makes tinkle without Nanny
Meanwhile the mop used to clean the toilet is for sale on EBAY, where a Mr N Witch is winning…
Sir Moore Patrick claims that Astronomy isn’t funny anymore
Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.