Scottish Government’s job search App says “Yer Da Sells Avon!”
Selling Avon is opening so many doors! Have you seen our new concealer? I use it myself.
Cookery expert’s croissant bakes off TV Film crew
I just couldn't get the croissants right, and I can be quite intense when I'm stressed.
Paddington Bear seeks treatment for Marmalade addiction
Paddington's Marmalade addiction is out of control. He is undergoing treatment to wean him off the orange fruit.
Kent to be given to France and renamed Frangleterre
Anyone entering Frangleterre will require a blue passport, travel insurance and a GB sticker on the back of the car.
Catholic Church in schism over Pineapple on Pizza
Cardinal Mott Zarella says that putting a pineapple on pizza is a sin.
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn't keep up with the rising numbers.
Asylum seekers to be sent to a remote island, just not this one
The Orkneys, Shetlands and Anglesey are popular destinations as they are miles away from London.
Newsreaders to get poker-face training following Trump’s positive test
Newsreaders around the world can't stop laughing at Donald Trump testing positive for Covid. "God certainly has a sense of…