Astronomy is really boring, I thought there would be aliens and lasers and stuff but it is all just rocks.
Sir Moore Patrick claims that Astronomy isn’t funny anymore
“Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious” says Mary Poppins
It’s not supercalifragilisticexpialidocious it’s Europeansuperleagueistotallyatrocious
New evidence shows Van Gogh-Gogh-Gogh was born in Wales
Ewan Ewan, professional Welsher, is adamant that Van Gogh was proper Welsh and that going to Europe ruined him.
Mount Olympus cited over numerous Health and Safety violations
It’s Health and Safety gone mad, before you know it they will stop you having sex with the livestock next. Now, where is that Swan?
‘Traffic Wardens issue their own death penalty notice’ says shock study
It seems that Traffic Wardens are handing out their own Death Penalty Notice and the good old public are delighted.
Shock as Tory minister does not fraudulently misuse public money
He’s an old-fashioned politician, i.e. one with enough respect for the electorate to not get caught. They don’t make them like that anymore!
Britain to be battered by a biblical storm of bullshit, claims The Express
Once more a wave of bullshit emanates from the offices of The Daily Express and sweeps across the country.
‘Greed got me where I am today’ said Fat Boy Johnson
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!” says The Blonde Balloon
The Met reclaims streets from Clapham Common protestors
The Met reclaims the streets from women standing quietly, holding candles and remembering the life of a woman, brutally murdered by a man.
ITV airs three hours of silence in memory of Piers Morgan
Piers Morgan quits Good Morning Britain after being beaten up by the weatherman.
Track and Trace Consultants are ‘Geo’ cashing in
It’s a brilliant solution, we can sit back and trouser the readies while unpaid volunteers do all the work, kerching!
Priti Patel claims she is innocent after massive pay-off to bullying victim
We would like to make it clear that there is no suggestion that an enormous cash pay off in anyway suggests that Priti Patel is guilty, absolutely not.