At times it’s hard to be Tory, when you don’t have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts to.
Gove confirms he hasn’t got any mates to give PPE contracts to
Thames Water to use politicians bullshit to power homes
There are plans to extend the renewable energy scheme to Town Halls, Churches and Piers Morgan’s studio.
Meghan and Harry announce they are expecting second slice of cake
Meghan and Harry announce that they are going to live a more private life in the full glare of world wide publicity.
“We did all we could,” says the Captain of Titanic
It was a titanic success says the government despite evidence to the contrary.
Boris Johnson announces new ‘Clap for Clap for carers’
Look, I need a gimmick to distract people, otherwise they will realise that this shit show is all my fault
Do the quake and Vax, and put the vaccine back
Anti-Vaxxers outraged that the EU want to get their hands on a vaccine that doesn’t work!
The Shite strikes Free Trade Agreement with Mordor
The Shite strikes a Free Trade Agreement with Mordor because it is a long way off and hard to get to
British Fish are as happy as a horse in a lasagne
British Fish are jolly happy to be back in British Waters says over-entitled cockwomble
Hitler explains that he never meant for his followers to organise a putsch
My Proud Boys got a bit carried away, that’s all. I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s not my fault.
Will Williamson Win the Chris Grayling Achievement Award?
With help and support it is possible that Gavin Williamson will be able to surpass the achievements of Chris Grayling.
Ex-President Trump says “Pardon me while I Pardonnez-Moi”
Ex-President Trump says well, pardonnez-mois
Government launches the COVID Regulations Game Show
COVID Regulations game show where the winners can win an online delivery slot at their supermarket of choice.
The Chatty Chimp 