Mon. Jul 4th, 2022

An emergency carpenter, has been sent to number ten, to rescue Bojocchio from a ‘somewhat embarrassing’ predicament.

Following his broadcast to the nation, Bojocchio’s nose grew ‘exponentially’, trapping him in his office.

Defending his speech, Bojocchio professed, ‘I am a real prime minister and I’ve very much got Covid 19 under control.’

I am a real Prime Minister! I am!

Urging the population to be ‘alert’, whilst continuing to wash their hands, as they sing happy birthday, would ‘more than adequately prepare the workforce’, against the deadly disease, as they return to employment.

For further personal precaution, Bojocchio added, ‘During these testing times, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution, when singing the Hokey-Cokey. Going in and out is indeed permissible but shaking it all about, might incur a germ shower.’

During the ‘phased return’ to normality, it is rumoured that each household, will be issued with a chocolate teapot to ‘boost their morale’, as all PPE has sold out.

Boris Johnson

Seems appropriate!


By Lady Tamsyn Marie

Lady Tamsyn Marie elegant, charming and more vicious than Mary Poppins

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!