An emergency carpenter, has been sent to number ten, to rescue Bojocchio from a ‘somewhat embarrassing’ predicament.
Following his broadcast to the nation, Bojocchio’s nose grew ‘exponentially’, trapping him in his office.
Defending his speech, Bojocchio professed, ‘I am a real prime minister and I’ve very much got Covid 19 under control.’
Urging the population to be ‘alert’, whilst continuing to wash their hands, as they sing happy birthday, would ‘more than adequately prepare the workforce’, against the deadly disease, as they return to employment.
For further personal precaution, Bojocchio added, ‘During these testing times, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution, when singing the Hokey-Cokey. Going in and out is indeed permissible but shaking it all about, might incur a germ shower.’
During the ‘phased return’ to normality, it is rumoured that each household, will be issued with a chocolate teapot to ‘boost their morale’, as all PPE has sold out.
Farage Riots – Season Two ‘Not as good as the original,’ says TV Critic
This summer brought season two of the hit series The Farage Riots to our screens. The new series aired relentlessly on all the major news channels. As the nation continued to scroll through online shopping apps on their phones, reporters came in their pants with excitement as cheap tracksuit-wearing football fans set about burning down…
Nigel Farage Misses Gold at Hide-and-Seek Championship
He may be slipperier than an eel in an oil tanker but even Nigel Mirage can catch Donald Trump!
“Poor people must work harder!” says Farage
“Work harder” says Frottage. “Don’t you mean work smarter?”. “No, I ahd it right the first time.”
Categories:Entertainment, Monkey Life, Monkey News, Politics
The Chatty Chimp 