An emergency carpenter, has been sent to number ten, to rescue Bojocchio from a ‘somewhat embarrassing’ predicament.
Following his broadcast to the nation, Bojocchio’s nose grew ‘exponentially’, trapping him in his office.
Defending his speech, Bojocchio professed, ‘I am a real prime minister and I’ve very much got Covid 19 under control.’
Urging the population to be ‘alert’, whilst continuing to wash their hands, as they sing happy birthday, would ‘more than adequately prepare the workforce’, against the deadly disease, as they return to employment.
For further personal precaution, Bojocchio added, ‘During these testing times, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution, when singing the Hokey-Cokey. Going in and out is indeed permissible but shaking it all about, might incur a germ shower.’
During the ‘phased return’ to normality, it is rumoured that each household, will be issued with a chocolate teapot to ‘boost their morale’, as all PPE has sold out.
UN Criticises Priti Patel for using Doctor’s receptionists to repel migrants
This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel
Unlike Gavin, can you tell if this man plays rugby or football?
The man can’t tell the difference between rugby and football, it’s outrageous. It’s just not cricket!
Guild of Fairies denies any association with Boris Johnson
The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren’t too chuffed either.
