An emergency carpenter, has been sent to number ten, to rescue Bojocchio from a ‘somewhat embarrassing’ predicament.
Following his broadcast to the nation, Bojocchio’s nose grew ‘exponentially’, trapping him in his office.
Defending his speech, Bojocchio professed, ‘I am a real prime minister and I’ve very much got Covid 19 under control.’
Urging the population to be ‘alert’, whilst continuing to wash their hands, as they sing happy birthday, would ‘more than adequately prepare the workforce’, against the deadly disease, as they return to employment.
For further personal precaution, Bojocchio added, ‘During these testing times, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution, when singing the Hokey-Cokey. Going in and out is indeed permissible but shaking it all about, might incur a germ shower.’
During the ‘phased return’ to normality, it is rumoured that each household, will be issued with a chocolate teapot to ‘boost their morale’, as all PPE has sold out.
Uxbridge chooses Boris Johnson as their Village Idiot
Boris is such an idiot that he struggles to find Uxbridge on a map, let alone visit the place.
Hunt hails ‘historic’ budget as he unveils free doggy day care for all
Free doggy day care and some other rubbish about pension benefits for the rich and the workhouse for the sick, disabled and over-fifties.
Waitrose opens a Tory Refugee Centre in Guilford
Right-whingers have become an oppressed minority and they need somewhere safe to be racist, sexist homophobic royalists.
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