Monkey News

Mr Bigski’s takes control of Interpol

Russian supervillain, Mr Bigski’s, plan for World domination is almost complete. The last piece of the jigsaw fell into place when he assumed control of Interpol, the world’s police force.

Having orchestrated Brexit, the breakdown of global democracy, control of the oil and gas supply to the developed world, ownership of Chelsea FC and the election of Donald Trump, the Russian Supervillain’s plan to rule the world through ‘divide and conquer’ is almost complete.

Normally, the appointment of a Russian Overlord as Director of Interpol would have caused outrage around the world, had anyone been brave enough to object.

One mealy-mouthed politician welcomed the appointment, “We can be sure of decisive justice, a firm hand in control. We can’t see Mr Bigski putting up with any of this human rights nonsense.”

Donald Trump also commented on Mr Bigski’s appointment, “That’s a relief, I thought I was going to be in real trouble there, for a moment.”

Speaking from his lair in the base of The Carpathian mountains, Mr Bigski said, “Now we control the world’s police we are untouchable. Our network of bribery, corruption and intimidation, together with control of the world’s politicians, the media, and the world’s natural resources makes us untouchable. I just need to get rid of those pesky kids and I will have complete control. “

In financial news, shares in car battery, crocodile clip and laser cutter manufacturers rose sharply on news of the appointment.

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