Tue. Nov 24th, 2020

Gillian Napton was over come with joy after her husband, Ian, used the toilet and managed to ensure that all of his pee-pee ended up in the toilet bowl, rather than all over the floor and the walls.

Mrs Napton said, “It was so unexpected, usually he goes in, you hear a tinkle, a splash a muttered ‘oh, fugg it’ and out he comes.  I’ve lost count of the number of times I been in to use the loo and come out with a wet foot. Its the backing in, you don’t always notice the wet patch. This time, however, there was none of that. “

It is not uncommon for men of advancing years to suffer some irregularity in their toilet function, and should not be unduly alarming when it happens occasionally.

I don’t think it’s something that has happened as he’s got older, I just think he’s a lazy bastard.” said Gillian.

Ian explained, “I try and get it in the bowl but sometimes it comes out sideways, I don’t do it deliberately. Obviously I am pleased that I hit the bowl but there was no need to make such a fuss about it.

Apparently, Mrs Napton is delighted with this small step and says her next goal is to get Ian to use the air freshener, or at least open the bathroom window.

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By Bernard

Bernard has been with us since the beginning. Bright, funny and blessed with a sharp satirical edge are things he wish had been said about him.

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