Monkey News

Nasa’s Mars Opportunity Rover does a Marvin, choosing suicide as Brexit drags on

Initially, Nasa scientists were baffled as to why one of their oldest, and most successful, planetary exploration vehicles, The Mars Opportunity Rover, suddenly stopped functioning.

Following detailed investigation, they’ve determined it was afflicted by Marvin’s Syndrome, named after Marvin The Paranoid Android, a mechanically depressed robot from The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy.

Analysis showed systems failures, over-loads and glitches being reported every time news reports featured Brexit stories. Data telemetry also indicated the rover was reporting pain in all the diodes down its’ left side. 

Billy-Bob Napton, a Nasa spokesman explained, “It took us a while to work it out but eventually we realised that every time there was another news story reporting the futility of Brexit, the  rover suffered an anxiety reaction. As the deadline approached, and the stories increased in number and severity, the rover decided it couldn’t take any more and terminally ended its life.”

Nasa have taken preventative action by shutting down all current missions until Brexit has been completed, effectively cancelling their space exploration programme.

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