A Hampshire couple are having their sanity tested to destruction by a newly arrived Hungarian rescue dog. 

Peter and Mary Davies, from Fareham, adopted a two year old Labrador cross last week. “He’s an utter nutter, a total mentalist,” Peter told us. “He destroyed all the beds and toys which belonged to our previous dog within half an hour of arriving, and Mary can’t get off the settee without him trying to hump her. He barks at everything and has taken a special dislike to Gary on Coronation Street. I don’t know if we’ll be able to get the carpets clean again.”

“We thought we were doing a good turn,” Mary said. “Bouncer had spent months in a Budapest rescue and we knew we could offer a loving home and make his life better. In return, he’s destroying our furniture and marriage.”

Bouncer’s vet, Cyril, conducted an initial assessment. “He’s an utter nutter, a total mentalist. I trained for nine years to be a vet and I’ve never encountered a dog as barking as this one.”

“I’m hoping the postman ‘accidentally’ leaves the gate open,” Peter said quietly. “Either that or I’ll rename him Boris.”