Sun. Nov 1st, 2020
Guardianista with a bag on his head

North London Guardianista, Ian Napton, has locked himself away in shame after agreeing with something said by Piers Morgan.

“I couldn’t believe I’d done it. I was sitting on the toilet, reading twitter and someone retweeted one of his tweets. Almost without thinking, I liked and shared it. Now my follower count is down to three, even the wife has changed her twitter name and unfollowed me.”

“It just seemed so reasonable, it was a statement that’s hard to argue with, you know like: Eat more vegetables, Everyone is trying their best, and that Brexit malarkey has caused a bit of a kerfuffle. Before you know it, I’d done it, that’s how they get you. You carelessly agree with something simple and obvious but before you know it you’re on a bus burning effigies with your new best friend, Nigel.”

“They say that everyone has their fifteen minutes, perhaps this is mine. Do you think it will blow over?” asked the worried Guardianista.

The comment that caused all the trouble was a tweet stating that Parliament has become an absolute disgrace”. Many felt there was some truth in it and it has received a lot of social media coverage.

Even Gary Lineker couldn’t disagree with that one.

Since the incident, Ian has locked the door, drawn the curtains and spent fours hours in the bath trying to wash off the guilt. A committed atheist, he even tried confessing to his local priest, who told him the “All the Hail Mary’s in the world couldn’t save your immortal soul.”  

Meanwhile, Brexit continues.


identicon

By Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!