Sat. Mar 6th, 2021
Lady Barrister

Speaking to The Sun “newspaper”, Lady Glenda Shale, veteran Supreme Court judge and amateur spider enthusiast was quoted as stating, “a filthy, biased, and extremely accurate tirade” about Prime Minister Boris Johnson.

During her address during the busy trial, Lady Shale became “lost” in her fisherman’s style rant about the PM where she ruled that he is “political turpentine” and “impossibly f*cking dense.” This theme was continued when Lady Shale called Mr Johnson out for his hair, face, dress sense, weird shifty eyes, and his politics.

The bizarre rant was also caught on camera and immediately Tweeted, Instagrammed, WhatsApped and all the other ones, leading the sprightly Lady Shale, (74), to become a minor internet celebrity. After the incident, Lady Shale, also a former Celebrity MasterChef judge, wrote on Facebook, “I spoke my mind today and I am not ashamed of it. I said that Mr Johnson is a bit of a pr*ck, and they can take my job for it if they like.”

What Lady Shale actually said was that Mr Johnson is, “a rambling, ******, sweaty **** trying to **** instead of just ******* himself in his **** Parliament.” She also went on to refer to him as a “******* **** pretending to be a ****** ****,” a comment which brought great offence to absolutely no one.

The trial resumes on Monday, where Lady Shale will continue trying Jason Adler (43) for his continued parking offences.



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By Eden Luke McIntyre

Eden Luke McIntyre is a script writer, editor, sketch writer/performer, radio producer and all round scrivener. If you've any little job, project or gig that may utilise his talents ping an email to edenluke@chattychimp.co

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