Boris Johnson fact checker at DoctorsMonkey News

Busier than a Boris Johnson fact-checker

A Boris Johnson fact-checker has been signed off sick due to overwork.

Chief fact-checker at Toshitone Press, Ian Napton is responsible for reviewing the veracity of everything Boris Johnson says during the election campaign.

“By the end of the first week, I was cream crackered. I couldn’t believe it, everything he said was either wrong, misleading or just a flat out lie. They told me this would be a doddle but now I’m at my wits end.”

One of Ian’s first tasks was to check how many women Boris had had affairs with and how many children he was the father of? It turns out that not even Boris knew.

As the campaign gathered pace the lies, untruths and misinformation became a torrent. It didn’t matter if he was discussing Brexit, Tax, Money, Expenses, Immigration, London, Jeremy Corbyn, the GFA, Education, Hospitals, Donald Trump or talking to The Queen, he just couldn’t help himself.

“I couldn’t cope, harassed editors would ring saying ‘surely, this one can’t be true?’ and even though it clearly wasn’t, I’d have to find the evidence to show why it was wrong. You reach the stage where you just can’t go on anymore. If my Doctor hadn’t signed me off I’d have ended it all.”

Ultimately, what really got to Ian was that no matter how many corrections he produced, nor how well publicised they were, Boris’s poll rating just kept going up and up. It was as though no-one cared, so why should he?

Meanwhile Brexit continues.