With rapidly rising death rates, the Government are appealing to people to delete their internet browsing histories.
As people die suddenly, families are trawling through computers and laptops, in search of accounts with money in. Much to their surprise, they’re discovering some rather sensitive material.
Gillian Napton takes up the tale. “After we lost Grandad, Nan got a computer so that she could stay in touch with the family. Sadly, the Corona Virus took her. I went through her internet history, just to make sure we hadn’t missed anything. I couldn’t believe it. There were a large number of searches for BBC. It seemed innocuous enough, I thought she had been keeping up to date with current affairs and Eastenders. Turns out that wasn’t what BBC meant at all. I’m just glad that little Colin didn’t come across it before I did! It would give him a serious inferiority complex.”

This is not the only case. One family in Guilford were appalled to discover Grandad’s predilection for Cuckoldry and Mexican Donkeys. Meanwhile, a relative in Maidenhead discovered that a lonely uncle had an unknown passion for the work of One Direction.

A Government IT wizard is urging people to use Private Browsing and Incognito modes when surfing the web. “Please don’t destroy those precious family memories because of a harmless passion for BBW Jelly Wrestling. Delete your internet history. Be safe.”

What Christ really said about the Christmas Market
“Mass market masses for the masses” said the Pope. “Get your blessings here! £10 a blessing. Hands laid on for free.” Said the Archbish of C.
Andrew debacles saves Reeves blushes
Meanwhile, as Andrew goes to live in penury in a Royal castle, Rachel admits paperwork is not her strong point.
Government to move asylum seekers, refugees, and immigrants to Hull
Unable to house people in hotels, the Government has resorted to moving them to Hull. When that’s full Doncaster will be next.
Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News
