There is some doubt about The Foreign Secretary’s qualification for such an important Cabinet position. Originally awarded a passing grade in Geography, his confusion over Wales position in the UK, and the strategic importance of Dover in Anglo-European trade has called this grading into question.
Facing allegations that Raab is not qualified for his position as Foreign Secretary, Boris is taking swift action. Mr Raab will take a GCSE refresher course on the constitution of Britain. This will ensure he can distinguish between foreign and not foreign countries.
Dominic will join students at the Jesus H Christ School, where his first assignment will be to find it.
“There is a lot of work to do. It’s not just the make-up of the UK that needs covering, his basic map reading skills leave a lot to be desired. His school record shows that; he couldn’t find his arse with both hands, he once got lost in a corner, and he had to be rescued after becoming stuck up the wrong creek, sans paddle.” said his new teacher.
If the exercise proves successful, Priti Patel will enrol in Primary Mathematics, and Matt Hancock will take over as milk monitor.
Farage Riots – Season Two ‘Not as good as the original,’ says TV Critic
This summer brought season two of the hit series The Farage Riots to our screens. The new series aired relentlessly on all the major news channels. As the nation continued to scroll through online shopping apps on their phones, reporters came in their pants with excitement as cheap tracksuit-wearing football fans set about burning down…
Nigel Farage Misses Gold at Hide-and-Seek Championship
He may be slipperier than an eel in an oil tanker but even Nigel Mirage can catch Donald Trump!
“Poor people must work harder!” says Farage
“Work harder” says Frottage. “Don’t you mean work smarter?”. “No, I ahd it right the first time.”
Categories:Monkey Life, Monkey News, Politics
The Chatty Chimp 