Matt Hancock, Health Secretary, has appointed Dido Harding to run the reformed Public Health England. It’s now known as National Institue for Health Protection (NIHP).

Having made PHE the scapegoat for Corona Virus cock-ups, Matt Hancock decided to close down the organisation, sack some low-level employees and rehire the management on double the salary.

The Health Secretary told a stunned public that he wants to make sure the new department’s leader is someone with the experience of running a large organisation.

Dido Harding is a surprise choice. The Baroness has no experience of working in public health, medicine, nor has she any medical training.

When we were looking for the right candidate, my friend Dido stood out.

Critics point out that Dido has failed at every executive job she has had. Although her record is not one of complete failure, Talk Talk did win the Worst Customer Service Performance Award, two years running.  Recently, she has successfully banjaxed Boris Johnson’s world-beating Track and Trace system.

Her record of consistent, high-profile, public failure means that she is the perfect person to explain why the inevitable failure of NIHP isn’t my fault.

Matt Hancock, professional weasel

Meanwhile, the Government continues

Checkout this definition of a Hancock!