Sun. Sep 19th, 2021
Shakespeare Competition

Do you have a way with words? A cutting wit? Is your tongue sharper than Sweeny Todd’s razor? Do you think you can you compete with Shakespeare? Then this is the competition for you.

At the, we’re offering you the chance to win one of our beautiful, organic cotton T Shirts; with your made-up quote front and centre!

Just come up with a quote or phrase that sounds like something Shakespeare would have written.

What could be simpler?

Here is an example of the real thing;

I am sick when I do look on thee

A Midsummer Night’s Dream

And here is one that we made up;

Equateth thee thine own opinion, with those who knowest most?


Here are some of the early contenders;

Knowest thou Sherlock, that thy revelation is yet so obvious that it is seemingly without odure.


Thou opinion is like an animal of no hearty disposition…. only worthy of dispatch


Intelligence, wit, charm and beauty, tis shameful that thou has not a jot of any


You get the idea.

What do you win?

We will send the author of the best entry, one of our high-quality T Shirts with their quote, front and centre! Here is a picture of Chatty wearing one of our real Shakespeare shirts.

Chatty in sodden witted Lord shirt

We are looking for clever, witty and cutting quotes, phrases or descriptions that may have been written by Will The Quill. Do not use GENUINE Shakespeare quotes, the judges will know if you do!

Who are the judges?

Your entries will be reviewed by Tim Marriott, Nicholas Collett and David Visick. They are the talented team behind the award-winning play, Waiting For Hamlet. The winner will be chosen after Friday night’s performance.

To Enter the Shakespeare Competition

Use the comments box, below.


Add your comment to our competition posts on FB, Twitter and IG, using #fauxShakespeare


DM Chatty on any of the above.



The competition closes on 23/10/20, about two bottles of wine after the curtain drops.

By chattychimp

The cheeky monkey responsible for this. Not a scooby what he is doing most of the time. Otherwise to found consuming, beer, cheese and biscuits. If you're passing stop and say hi.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!