MPs of the secretive European BDSM Research Group are complaining that they have been deliberately misled by the government and haven’t been given the deal that they voted for.

We interviewed a BDSMRG spokesperson who told us:

Mm mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmmmm mmm

Nanny’s Boy, EBDSMRG sub

Then we removed the ball gag and they went on to say:

We have been badly misled by the party leaders. In March, we were promised that legislation would be introduced to ensure that, under the promise of severe punishment, we would all be subject to restraint, forced to wear a mask, be locked up for extended periods of time and have our freedom of movement taken away. Well, who wouldn’t vote for that? We are now being told that this is exactly what we have been given.

William de Schlompuller, MP, masseuse and

European BDSM Research Group members are said to be torn between crushing disappointment that their ambitions have been thwarted and tumescent excitement because they are being treated so badly. Rumours of a back-bench uprising are circulating in the chamber, but some say that they are just over-excited. In any event, party leaders have warned that continued disobedience will not be tolerated and that the whip may be withheld. They have also threatened that the anonymity of the EBDSMRG may be deemed undemocratic and that their members may be exposed.