Sat. Mar 6th, 2021
Frodo and Bilbo's house

Following the contentious Shexit campaign, which saw the Shite leave the Alliance of Men, Dwarves and Elves, the Shite has signed a Free Trade Agreement with Mordor.

THIS IS A GREAT DAY FOR MORDOR, AND THE *checks notes* SHITE. THIS DEAL WILL BRING GREAT PROSPERITY TO MORDOR; AND ALSO TO THE SHITE… POSSIBLY… IT DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT REALLY.

Sauron, reassuring despot

It is expected that the Shite, which is a largely agricultural economy, will supply foodstuff, pipe weed and grazing rights for the Mordor Nazgûl (a bit odd, because those things don’t look like herbivores). In return the landlocked Shite has retained exclusive control of its fishing rights and unicorn breeding program. Mordor will also supply a small military force to ensure the Shite’s borders remain frictionless.

Shexit, and the Mordor deal in particular, has not been without its critics; most of whom have inexplicably disappeared since the deal was signed.

I told Mr Dildo. I told ‘im. I don’t likes it one bit. That Sauron has something not right about ‘im, if you takes my meaning. But Mr Dildo just stoked his pipe with some more weed and said ‘chill Sam’ and kind of went all vacant.

Unwize Gammongee, Hobbit

The leader of the alliance, King Harry, is understood to be perplexed by the whole affair. When asked to comment, he said.

It’s all a bit odd really. But they’ve always been an insular people. We wish them well with their newfound… sovereignty.

Harry, King
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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!