Thu. Jun 24th, 2021
Aussie Stylee

The Antivax movement is up in arms after the EU lays claim to the UK vaccine supply.

The position of the Antivax movement seems to be somewhat conflicted. Some of the protestors have had serious nosebleeds trying to reconcile their hatred of the EU with their hatred of vaccinations.

The bloody EU is at it again. Passing laws without our agreement and expecting to grab our jabs. I didn’t die in two world wars and get reincarnated just to have my jabs nicked. Those jabs are ours and we have the right to refuse to take them.

Quintin Annoyance, Antivaxer

The Chimp sought comment from the Government, but couldn’t find one. So we asked a random chap with a bad haircut we found hanging from a zipwire what he thought.

Phwoar. Antivaxers eh? Bloody odd lot, pwhor. Can’t see what they are objecting about. It all seems to be a bit of an over-reaction. What have they got against vacuum cleaners that can wash your carpet eh?

We clarified that we meant anti vaccine protesters:

Ah what! Phwoar. Yes. I see. Well I think vaccines are a fantastic idea. I went to visit a vaccine production plant you know? Yes. Phwoar. It was brilliant, they had loads of fridges that you could walk in and the lights stayed on even after you closed the door. Good. Phwoar. Had a bit of an accident though. Most unfortunate. I leant on a rack of little glass bottles and it fell onto another rack and so on. Phwoar, yes. Glass and liquid everywhere. It was like that scene in the Room of Prophecy from the Harry Potter movie. Caused a bit of a hiccup in production I understand. Yes, sorry about that. Phwoar.

At that moment the zipwire freed itself and he sped off before we could get his name.

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By Simian MacAque

Simian, sits and looks at the world and wonders, how the hell did they become the dominant species?

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!