Jose Mourinho stabbed in the back by a bunch of traitors
HMV’s Grift Voucher Scheme will sell peerages, financial favours, ferrying contracts and government influence as part of a daring rescue plan
Gongs clang as everyone bows to His Masters Voice. HMV to be saved for the benefit of the administrators.
Grift Vouchers can be purchased in the Lobby
For Auld Lang’s Syne, one more beer won’t hurt
Xmas Hangover, days don’t work and a continuous diet of chocolate, cheese and past its best turkey isn’t working.
Dr Fuchs announces that the Anglo-American swear word trade deal is ‘fu**ing done’
Dr Fuchs announces that the Anglo-American swear word trade deal is ‘fu**ing done’
Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas
Teenagers suffering anxiety, depression and PTSD as parents disconnect the WiFi over Xmas
Amazon delivery driver visits so often he’s coming for Xmas dinner
A parcel delivery driver visits the Jackson’s house so often he’s now coming for Xmas dinner
Maths genius finds a new number while calculating his Xmas spending
Maths genius discovers a new number when trying to work out how much money he spent at Xmas
Hark the herald angels sing, his bloody Auntie’s nicked my gin
While mothers washed their crocs by night,
Then put their turkey’s in’
Their idle families ate her chocs,
And then they nicked her gin.
Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto
Audiences are unhappy with Theresa May’s performance as the Unprincipled Boy in The Palace of Westminster Xmas Panto
PM completes Fallout 76 to find it’s actually Brexit
PM completes Fallout 76 to find it’s actually Brexit
School cancels school disco due to outcome specific non-positive performance data
School cancels school disco due to outcome specific non-positive performance data
Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC
Tory leadership challenge to use cage fighting to determine the Ultimate FC