Monkey News

After installing a Wind Turbine at Holyrood, Scotland generate all of their energy from wind power

This week saw the announcement that Scotland has managed to generate all of its power from wind energy.

Apparently the key decision to install a wind turbine above the Scottish Parliament led to this remarkable achievement.

Ian Butchers, a Scottish Power expert said, “Whoever thought of this is a genius, I hope they’ve patented it. Putting a wind turbine over the politicians debating chamber, simple but brilliant. This means there’s a constant supply of hot air and wind to turn the turbines. Now, when anyone asks, ‘What did our SMP do for me?’ The answer is clear, he only went and boiled the bloody kettle.”

He added, “I understand the system is going to be installed into the Houses of Parliament  and every council chamber in the country. At current levels of hot air production we should be able to do without Russian gas and may, even be able to sell some to Europe, ironically. This is like North Sea Oil, all over again.”

Critics want to know if the supply of wind and hot air can be maintained. The developers believe it can. They say they’ve analysed the hot air produced, by politicians, over the last 50 years and are quite sure there is sufficient hot air produced on a daily basis to meet the countries energy needs.

They site the epic levels of pointless waffle, self-indulgent piffle and valueless verbosity indulged in, by the political classes on a daily basis. Although the amount of hot air has increased significantly over the last 2 years, following Brexit, politicians will always find something to talk about. “There is no danger of them stopping talking, otherwise they might achieve something worthwhile.”


Categories:Monkey News

Tagged as: ,