Following the expected resignation of Dominic Raab and most of Theresa May’s ministerial team, the Prime Minster makes a stunning political manoeuvre, designed to completely wrongfoot herself, by appointing a 22 year old graduate, Giles Cavendish, to the post of Brexit Secretary.

Mr Cavendish’s swift rise was prompted after mass resignations following the publishing of Theresa May’s Brexit deal. In the search for a replacement, she realised her party was littered with those who hate her, those who really hate her and well…just be thankful automatic weapons are banned.

No-one could be found who wanted to serve in the cabinet, especially as Brexit Minister forcing Theresa May to used ancient parliamentary powers for the ad-hoc appointment.

A thorough search of the building discovered the only person left was Giles Cavendish and he was only there because he’d a heavy drinking session the previous night and was just having a quiet nap in a surprisingly empty office.

At their joint press conference she went on to justify the appointment of Giles, by saying “Brexit is going to affect future generations more than anyone else, so it makes sense to have a young person at the centre of the negotiations.” before turning to wipe his chin with a hanky.

Giles Cavendish explained, “My careers master told me a career in politics was going to be difficult, with long hours, high stress and little thanks. Little did he know, I’ve only been here three weeks and already I’m a cabinet minister. Ibiza here we come.” 

Jeremy Corbyn was unavailable for comment.