Rationing introduced to limit Brexit references to a maximum of 3 per week

Following the Prime Minister’s closure of Parliament on the grounds that he has had enough of Democracy and this Brexit nonsense, he’s introducing a Brexit Rationing scheme.

Everyone will be issued with a Ration Book, limiting Brexit references to three a week. Once a Brexit reference has been used the book will need stamping and, after three goes no further use of Brexit is allowed.  

However, Brexit Stamps will be tradable, so Trappist Monks, Hermits and Jeremy Corbyn should be able to pick up a few bob on the secondary market.

The three-mention limit will also apply to politicians, journalists and stand-up comedians, thus limiting mainstream media’s endless drivel. Subsequently, BBC Question Time will be cancelled for the duration.

Acceptable Brexit comments fall into three categories; funny, insulting and insightful. Most people will only use the first two.

Under funny, the public can take the mickey out of anything Brexit related. For example; Brexiteers Off-Shore Tax arrangements are fair game as are Remainers visiting Dublin in order to qualify for an Irish Passport.  

Insults are limited to reduce unnecessary distress. Brexiteers can have one shot at calling Remainers; Re-moaner, Traitor or Snowflake whilst Remainers must stick to, Fascist, Gammon or Daily Mail reader.  

Finally, any conversation is then expected to finish with a general statement of agreement between the two parties that says; the country is fed up to the back teeth with the constant discussion about Brexit, that this is all the politicians fault and they should have never let this mess happen in the first place. This will unify the Nation.

As a reflection of the general disgust that politics has generated we decided to produce a None of The Above, Tee Shirt. Here is the link to it #NoTA

  • #NoTA

If you are not minded to buy a tee shirt, please follow and use the #NoTA on Twitter and Facebook.

Categories:Brexit, Monkey News

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