Tue. Oct 27th, 2020
Buying shoes

A period of mourning has begun, for a middle-aged, South London woman’s dress sense.

Style experts decreed, that the ‘final loss of fashion pulse’, was recorded at three o’clock GMT, when the victim entered Clarkes shoe shop.

Bystanders observing the tragedy unfold noticed the trend casualty approaching the padded shoe section but were not in a ‘position to intervene’, as they ‘feared the social repercussions for themselves.’

A young shop assistant reported that the female, named as Gillian Napton, casually requested, ‘a black, lace-up, comfortable shoe’, as she ‘conceded that practicality, was more important than style for work.’

Evidently, with a small sense of regret Napton added, ‘Please help me choose some, which are least likely to make me look a complete tool or like my Grandmother.’

Onlookers were forced to retreat to Superdry, as a preventative measure, should the dowdy behaviour become ‘infectious.

Speaking bitterly, husband Ian Napton concluded, ‘It’s the thin end of the wedge. Next thing it will be velcro-slippers and high collared nightwear. I’m off to buy a Harley Davidson before we end up with his and her rain macs.’


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