Monkey Life

Middle-aged man goes to ‘find himself’ and discovers he’s some kind of ‘c**t’

Richard Corke took a sabbatical from work, so he could ‘find himself’. Whilst he was happy with the result, it turns out everyone else was less than impressed.

At 52, life hadn’t turned out as he’d hoped. His marriage had failed, his kids were busy and wanted little to do with him, work was an ‘environment of idiots’, especially management. No-one seemed to like him, he had no real friends and strangers couldn’t wait to get away from him.

After reading Cosmo in a doctor’s waiting room he decided to take action. He arranged to take a year off from work, go travelling and see if he could find some deeper meaning to his life, or at least learn to live with what he had.

So long suckers, I’m off for a year

He travelled the world, visiting Zen meditation centres, gazing on Goan sunsets, admiring the wild Serengeti, smoking magical herbs with shaman, swimming with dolphins and enjoying carnal pleasures with willing partners.

Back in Basingstoke he considered the lessons his adventures had taught him and came to the conclusion that he was a right c**t.

Having indulged his every whim and fancy for a whole year, thought of no-one other than himself, doing exactly what he wanted, he concluded that this was who he was and what he was meant to be.

He didn’t need anyone else’s approval, he didn’t want anyone else’s approval, he couldn’t care if other people were happy or sad. He was a complete dick and quite happy about it.

His boss said, “To be honest we were all quite relieved when he said he was taking a year off, but now he is back, he’s worse than ever. He’s quite happy being the most hated man in the office. “

Red Nose Day man in the pub
This is me, so FO

Categories:Monkey Life

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