Sat. Nov 28th, 2020
Panic buying leads to loo roll shortage

As panic buying sets in and toilet roll is in short supply, sales of Piers Morgan’s Biography go through the roof.

With unscrupulous sellers raking in huge profits by increasing the price of loo roll, canny shoppers have been bulk buying Piers Morgan’s Biography, Living Like a C*&7! As an alternative.

That should see us through

We spoke to a disgruntled Ian Napton, “It’s not on, I nipped down to my corner shop for a large pack of loo roll, and he wanted to charge me £17! I said this is not  ‘kin Waitrose mate. He mentioned something about supply and demand, but that’s bollocks.”

He went on to explain that the same shop had Piers Morgan’s book on sale for a penny, and with 475 sheets it was much better value than the Family Pack of Toilet Roll.

Cheaper than Andrex

Ian shared his tip on the social media site, Twatter, where it went viral. Soon twats were sharing their experiences with the world.

“The paper quality is very similar to supermarket own-brand loo roll.” Said one. “Very absorbent and full of sh*7e” said another.

Not everyone enjoyed the experience. “It let me down, my finger went straight through it, but what do you expect from @piersmorgan ?” said another.

Whilst several twatterati were off to give Jeremy Clarkson’s books ago.

It seems when faced with a problem, once again the British people show they can adapt and overcome any adversity.


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By Id

Id, is a bit of a wild one

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!