Mon. Jul 4th, 2022
In reality he's just a prat

Colin Jackson, described by those who know him as, ‘absolutely mental’, ‘a complete nutter’, and ‘a right laugh’,  has been diagnosed by a leading psychiatrist as, ‘a bit of a prat’.

Professor Fraud explains, “In our clinic, we see many such cases. There is an assumption that strange behaviour in a public makes someone ‘a character’. This is false. Just because people are too nice to say anything doesn’t ever make ‘being a prat’ socially acceptable.

In my opinion he is a prat!

Once the affected achieves group acceptance as a ‘wag’ acquaintances find it impossible to say anything, without feeling uncomfortable or causing offence. So, to reduce these feelings, they cooperate in describing the pillock as;  “a card’,  ‘it’s just Colin’, or even ‘he’s as mad as a box of frogs, that one’.

However, detailed psychiatric examination shows such individuals to be; sad, pathetic and lonely types, characterised by an inability to express emotions in an adult fashion. Technically, this is known as ‘being a bit of a prat’.”

People with this condition tend to fulfil such social roles as; the Office Joker, an unwanted dinner party guest or Breakfast TV Presenter. They are unaware of the suffering they cause, believing themselves to be universally liked and respected.

The condition is untreatable.

Campaigners hope that by raising public awareness of ‘pratism’ suffers will speak up and tell Colin to stop being such an annoying twat.  


By Sir Drinkalot

Once upon a time there was a very naughty little monkey. This little monkey was always to be found in the pub, when he should have been writing stories. Brains often had to go looking for Sir Drinkalot but Brains usually ended up stuck in the pub too.

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