An emergency carpenter, has been sent to number ten, to rescue Bojocchio from a ‘somewhat embarrassing’ predicament.
Following his broadcast to the nation, Bojocchio’s nose grew ‘exponentially’, trapping him in his office.
Defending his speech, Bojocchio professed, ‘I am a real prime minister and I’ve very much got Covid 19 under control.’
Urging the population to be ‘alert’, whilst continuing to wash their hands, as they sing happy birthday, would ‘more than adequately prepare the workforce’, against the deadly disease, as they return to employment.
For further personal precaution, Bojocchio added, ‘During these testing times, I would advise you to exercise extreme caution, when singing the Hokey-Cokey. Going in and out is indeed permissible but shaking it all about, might incur a germ shower.’
During the ‘phased return’ to normality, it is rumoured that each household, will be issued with a chocolate teapot to ‘boost their morale’, as all PPE has sold out.
What Christ really said about the Christmas Market
“Mass market masses for the masses” said the Pope. “Get your blessings here! £10 a blessing. Hands laid on for free.” Said the Archbish of C.
Andrew debacles saves Reeves blushes
Meanwhile, as Andrew goes to live in penury in a Royal castle, Rachel admits paperwork is not her strong point.
Government to move asylum seekers, refugees, and immigrants to Hull
Unable to house people in hotels, the Government has resorted to moving them to Hull. When that’s full Doncaster will be next.
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