Have you always wanted to lord over your very own country, but didn’t know where to start? Vladislav Pupin has the program for you! Like you, he wanted to rule over the lesser beings, so he came up with a fool-proof plan!
If you join our program today, you’ll get:
- A step-by-step guide on how to put a thriving economy in the toilet.
- Scripts to deliver speeches specifically designed to polarize your soon-to-be slaves.
- Facebook Tech support, to feed your supporters more conspiracy theories than you can dream of.
- We’ll train your management team – they’ll go from speaking against you to bootlicking sycophants overnight!
- We even provide emergency phone support, for those nights you’re hiding in a bunker, too afraid to even turn on the lights.
We’ve taken all the guesswork out of transforming your government into a dictatorship. Just follow our simple guide, and you too can be emperor of your own domain. Just listen to this testimonial!
“I was a horrible failure as a businessman, husband, and father. I was such a train wreck that they gave me a show on reality TV. But with this program, I was able to ignore the Constitution (which I didn’t read anyway,) seat unqualified lickspittles in the judiciary, and make millions! Phone support is great! Vlad was my rock, that night I called crying about the peasants revolting. I highly recommend this program!” –Donald T.
Call today and get your very own personalized bags of asbestos (while supplies last).
This is a paid advertisment on behalf of Vlad Putin Power Enterprises Ltd, where no country is too small for us to make a killing, just look at the UK!
Why not pop over to chattychimp.com for some satirically themed goodies?
A motivational message reminding you that one day, you too could grow up to be President. If this idiot can do it, what’s your excuse!
And yes, we do ship to the States
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