Hauliers and lorry drivers wishing to cross The Channel from 1 January 2021 are being offered the opportunity to book a place in the queue on the M20.

The government are saying there will be delays of up to two days to cross, and some bright spark in Whitehall has come up with the idea of pre-booking your place in the traffic jam.

A Hedge-hog, Trucker who likes trucking

A spokesman for Number Ten confirmed that this is true.

“Everyone knows it’s going to be chaos to begin with, so we thought that if truckers are committed to queuing, they don’t actually need to be there in person. They could just book their slot in the queue. Initially, we’re thinking that they could book places by motorway junctions, and we might put up signs like they do at Disneyworld which tell you how many hours you are from the front of the queue. It’s genius. For instance, the system might work along the lines of a driver booking a place at junction 8 and the booking reference confirmation email tells him or her how many days and hours queuing time that will be. Or maybe, there’s a cross-selling opportunity here which allows us to sell drivers meals delivered to their cabs at specified times. One of our colleagues quite liked the idea of truckers taking their pre-booked places in the queue and then us whisking them off to Kent tourist attractions on coach trips. Leeds Castle would do well, don’t you think?”

Both the AA and RAC are advising motorists to avoid the South East of England for as long as possible.

Meanwhile, Brexit continues.