Sat. Oct 31st, 2020

The CLM protest movement has torn down a statue erected to the Pride of Norwich, Alan Partridge.

A spokesman for Comedians Lives Matter explained that celebrating and legitimising second rate comedians, sends out the wrong message to the comedy going public.

“Alan Partridge paved the way for talentless middle-class drivel, like Miranda, Michael McIntyre,  Ghosts and Upstart Crow. It’s because of comics like Partridge that Commissioning editors went through their University Year Book and foisted any old drivel on an unsuspecting public. Meanwhile, woke comedians had to make do with; Mock The Week, Have I Got News, Peep Show, Friday Night Dinner, Fleabag, Catastrophe, Frankie Boyle’s New World Order, Charlie Brooker Screen wipe, etc…”

Ian Napton, unpublished comedy writer

Meanwhile, residents of Norwich are outraged.

“It’s outrageous, where’s our freedom of speech? Don’t people know how many times he died for his art? His acting put boring, tedious, white middle-class men on the map. He brought an entire 1950’s culture to a modern audience. Do the youth of today appreciate it? No, they’d rather watch James Acaster on Netflix. No one’s going to erect a statue to James ‘bloody’ Acaster!”

Up and down the country bands of veteran comedy enthusiasts are standing guard over statues of the comedy greats. A group of ITV viewers are camping beside Reg Varney’s 40 Foot installation in Birmingham, Mrs Brown’s statue has 200 people protecting it, and Jim Davidson is being guarded by Colchester’s  ‘But I’m Not A Racist’ Collective.  

“You can’t cancel our comedy history, just because some snowflakes don’t think it’s funny. It doesn’t matter if it’s funny or not, it’s our history!”

Some twat in the Fox family

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By Joe The Greek

Joe The Greek is a man of many words and considerable girth. Never shy when it comes to the bar and buffet table.

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