Sun. Jul 25th, 2021
Vaccines Front Man

READING FESTIVAL, READING – The lead singer of indie rock band the Vaccines hit back on Twitter last night at findings by scientists on the efficacy of his Reading headlining four-piece.

94% effectiveness is a slur on our good name. My rich vocals, combined with the lush notes of Freddie’s guitar and both underpinned by Ari’s throbbing bass, always give complete satisfaction. Just ask the NME panel of 2012 which awarded us the Best New Band gong, or the luminaries at BBC Radio 6, who had such faith in our effectiveness they crowned our ‘genre-defining’ third record, English Graffiti, their Album of the Day. Sounds like we delivered for every listener on 19th January 2015, doesn’t it

Justin Hayward-Young

Results of the research into the Vaccines by Pfizer, Astra-Zeneca, and other pharmaceutical giants were met with unbridled public joy, after 9 months without a lusty rendition of Post Break-Up Sex lighting up the festival stage. However, the judgements fell some way short of the band’s estimation of their own abilities.

Supposedly, people need a top-up of the Vaccines in order to feel our full effects, but this is nonsense. I challenge anyone to listen to the chorus of If You Wanna without getting hooked on our brand of chamber pop immediately – no subsequent dose necessary. In fact, when we offered the public a second helping of our music in 2012, they couldn’t force it down.

Justin

“What did you expect from The Vaccines?” concluded Hayward-Young. “A return to normal life, presumably.”


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By Dan Flanagan

One of the younger members of the troop, his sharp eye, cutting commentary and abundant talent has put the old chimps into a sulk.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!