A national campaign has been launched to free the noted grifter, Tommy Robinson from his unfair imprisonment in a five-star Cyprus hotel. The declared bankrupt complains that the two-tier legal system is unfairly imprisoning him and he is a victim of ‘dark forces’ trying to convict him for all the crimes ‘what he done’.

Amnesty International is deeply disturbed by the allegations and are looking at his case. Reports suggest his legal and human rights are being infringed. The latest allegation is that Kostas was very slow in bringing him a cooling pint of strong Belgian lager. “This isn’t the kind of treatment you expect in a £400 per night five-star hotel.” moaned one spokesman, before adding, “We’d be better off in the scrubs”.

So, once again Stephen Yaxley-Lennon faces charges of being a ‘right little shit’. The convicted fraudster, illegal immigrant and alleged terrorist is no stranger to legal trouble. Not content with stirring up his followers to protect the public from illegal immigrants by looting, Lush, Greggs and a shop selling Crocs; the convicted football hooligan is facing arrest for failing to turn up for another contempt of court hearing. TBF, they come around so regularly they can be easy to miss.

To defend himself from the entirely justified legal actions, the noted grifter is seeking further donations from his followers. However, the rising costs of Millwall season tickets and the imprisonment of large numbers of his supporters are slowing the money stream. Amnesty is very concerned that ‘Our Tommy’ may have to pay for the holiday himself.

A keen and astute gambler, the grifter recently told a court that he was raising money to pay off his libel debts. Under such intense pressure, he relieved himself by spending £100,000 on gambling, partying and other amusements. Sadly, his sure thing in the 2.30 at Kempton Park didn’t come off and he is back on the grift.

The allegedly Irish-born illegal immigrant, mortgage fraudster, stalker, libellous bully, thug and asylum seeker is facing penury as he enjoys his luxurious summer holiday. Without the support of his hard-up fans, he would have to work for a living.

If the right-wing muppets who support him don’t stump up the cash, Tommy may seek to avoid justice by renewing his claim for political asylum in Alabama. He withdrew his previous application when the United States government completely ignored him.

Meanwhile, you know the rest.