We need to get these people home before they realise how much better off they are in France
Government launch Operation Sunkirk to bring Brits home
Man Turns Into Chlorinated Superhero
I can clean anything, I’m Super Chlorinated Chicken Man
Bristol top of the cocaine league for the second year running
In a tightly fought contest, Bristol beat Amsterdam, Paris and Madrid to become the cocaine capital of Europe. Russell Brand denies he lives there.
ERG announce they have finally finished their study into Europe
European Research Group have finished their Government-funded study into Europe and determined it’s all full of Johnnie Foreigner and his rum customs.
Ryan Air pilots plan to ruin summer by flying planes as scheduled
Ryan Air pilots to ruin summer by flying planes as scheduled. The industrial action impacts millions of families looking for a cheap break at major airports
Jacob Rees-Mogg to star as the Baddie in the next Bond film
Jacob Rees-Mogg to star as the Baddie in the next Bond film bringing an authenticate air of sinister, menace.
Euro 2020 allows useless teams in but there’s still no room for Scotland
As the European Championships expand to allow 3rd rate teams to play, there’s still no room for Scotland
Grayling Airways flight to Dusseldorf lands at Edinburgh Airport
Grayling Airways flight lands in Edinburgh, Germany, by mistake. Passengers take full responsibility
Scotland off to a flyer as they start their exit from Euro 2020
Scotland off to a flyer as they start their exit from Euro 2020
Pro Brexit ‘Go Slow’ protest on the M62 backfires as journey times speed up
Pro Brexit ‘Go Slow’ protest on the M62 backfires as journey times increase. Drivers ask for it to be held everyday
The Chatty Chimp 