Even though the Election isn’t underway the strain is clearly telling on JRM. Thinking he was discussing Brexit, it turned out to be Grenfell. Juggins!
“Sorry, forget my own head next” says Jacob Rees-Mogg
Tory wins seat after saying “Benefit claimants should be put down!”
Tory candidate wins seat in GE2019 by a landslide after suggesting that Benefit Claimants should be put down. Tory HQ very excited by the proposal.
Nigel Farage finally gets the message
Nigel Farage, privately educated, multi-millionaire Man of the People decides not to stand in the upcoming election. Comedians and satirists are distraught.
Alabama offers political asylum to Tommy Robinson
Tommy to get political asylum in the Birmingham, Alabama where locals assure him he will fit right in.
Johnsons Out for Xmas
Johnson has threatened to bare all if he doesn’t get his way. Will it be a hard one? or a softie? the nation awaits with bated breath, for the big climax
***CHIMPTOURS SPECIAL OFFER – Brexcruise 2020***
CHIMPTOURS are the only satirical newspaper offering once in a lifetime cruising opportunities. “You don’t get this with The Rochdale Herald” said Sid
Boris to set his Dad on Jeremy unless he stops being a meanie
Boris to send his Dad round to Jeremy’s as tension escalates over a General Election. Possible that this year’s nativity may be cancelled.
Composers Network proudly present “With Memories”
The Composers Network present “With Memories”, using music to explore issues related to dementia and raise money for Memory Lane
Corbyn released as no evidence he’s trying to bring down government
Following his arrest under the Terrorism Act, Jeremy Corbyn has been released as there’s insufficient evidence he intended to bring down the government.
Grandad sent to a home after buying a copy of The Daily Mail
One family packed Grandad off to an Old Folks Home after he came home from the shops with a copy of The Daily Mail. “The shame of it!”, said his daughter.
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed” says Prime Minister
“It doesn’t count, I had my fingers crossed”, says Prime Minister, exhibiting Machiavellian statecraft. Politicians are in awe of the audacious move
Britain to pretend the last three years didn’t happen
Britain is to engage in the very British trait of pretending that the last three years have simply not happened. That way we can all get along again.
The Chatty Chimp 