Spurs fans stocking up after it's announced that cocaine use would lead to football banning order.

"Nobody works harder from a Caribbean beach than the old Coxster." says Boris.

Of course there is a shortage of Xmas toys, Boris has bought them all for his kids!

This will go down a treat in the Tory heartlands and with the Daily Mail, says Priti Patel

The man can't tell the difference between rugby and football, it's outrageous. It's just not cricket!

The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren't…

Conscription will make the most of teenagers ability to sit on their arse for hours on end, while eating junk…

The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock