Brexiteers have reacted with indignation over Tesla’s decision to base its European Gigafactory in Germany.
Elon Musk, the company’s high profile founder, said that Brexit uncertainty made it “too risky” to locate the factory in Britain, despite the small army of soon-to-be-unemployed car factory workers here he could potentially have taken on.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson said, “Bwah. Britain has led the world in Electric Vehicles for more than fifty years. Elon Musk has failed to recognise this. We were the inventors of Scalextric. I had a set as a boy and raced against Nanny for as long as I needed to until she accepted I’d won. I had the posh set with the bridge and the grandstand with little people in it. I was the heroic champion.”
And Mark Francois told us, “Where I grew up, the poor people who didn’t have their own Jaguar or Bentley to go to the shops in had milk delivered to them on futuristic electric vehicles called milk floats. We have always been years ahead of the game. Thanks to Brexit, the poor people will be better off and they will be able to buy the new Electric Mini, which is being built in Oxford. That is, if they’re not unemployed, obviously.”
Tesla, probably the world’s fastest growing car company, is due to commence production at its brand new factory in Shanghai in the coming days and has turned its attention to Europe, where the appetite for buying hugely overpriced tech gadgets is enormous. “Germany and Britain are two of the leading car manufacturing countries in the world,” a spokesman for the company told us. “Fortunately for us, Germany didn’t just decide to ostracise itself from the rest of the business world, so we are locating our new factory and thousands of jobs there.”
Meanwhile, Brexit continues.
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