Mon. Sep 27th, 2021

Tempted by riches beyond compare and the glory of finding the next big thing in over-priced, pretentious gastronomy; fast-food vendors, pop-up restauranters and panhandlers have been making their way to the Scottish Highlands in search of the fabled Golden McNuggett.

The discovery of such a large piece of Golden McNuggett is unprecedented. “It was just lying there, in the rocks, twinkling. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing but those clever bods in the pub confirmed it a genuine McNuggett. I’m rich.” Said Ian McNapton.

McNuggett’s were thought to be the remains of a mythical beast, that had died and been preserved in a mixture of peat, Scottish spring water and Irn Bru. Chunks of the delicacy break off and periodically work their way to the surface where they are deep-fried and eaten by the locals. Mr McNapton says it has a unique flavour, that’s almost but not completely unlike chicken.

It is the potential value of seams of pure McNuggett that are drawing crowds to Scotland. A kilo of the delicacy could fetch at least £10 on the open market but when processed and sold to pretentious hipsters in South London would produce a street value of 10 times that.

Giles Giles a former Investment Banker from Croydon. “I lost my job after my hedge fund tanked in a booming market so I was looking for something to do when my friend Sebastian suggested I start a pop-up authentic street food stall in my Grandad’s shed. I thought. Why not? With one kilo of pure McNuggett I’ll be back on the gravy train.”


By The Chatty Chump

Given his name by The Editor for good reason, although both parties refuse to speak of it. Lucky to still have a tyre swing.

The Chatty Chimp, where we don't do fake news, all our stories are 100% made up!