Monkey Business

Discovery of a giant Golden McNuggett sparks Scottish gold rush

Tempted by riches beyond compare and the glory of finding the next big thing in over-priced, pretentious gastronomy; fast-food vendors, pop-up restauranters and panhandlers have been making their way to the Scottish Highlands in search of the fabled Golden McNuggett.

The discovery of such a large piece of Golden McNuggett is unprecedented. “It was just lying there, in the rocks, twinkling. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing but those clever bods in the pub confirmed it a genuine McNuggett. I’m rich.” Said Ian McNapton.

McNuggett’s were thought to be the remains of a mythical beast, that had died and been preserved in a mixture of peat, Scottish spring water and Irn Bru. Chunks of the delicacy break off and periodically work their way to the surface where they are deep-fried and eaten by the locals. Mr McNapton says it has a unique flavour, that’s almost but not completely unlike chicken.

It is the potential value of seams of pure McNuggett that are drawing crowds to Scotland. A kilo of the delicacy could fetch at least £10 on the open market but when processed and sold to pretentious hipsters in South London would produce a street value of 10 times that.

Giles Giles a former Investment Banker from Croydon. “I lost my job after my hedge fund tanked in a booming market so I was looking for something to do when my friend Sebastian suggested I start a pop-up authentic street food stall in my Grandad’s shed. I thought. Why not? With one kilo of pure McNuggett I’ll be back on the gravy train.”

Categories:Monkey Business, Monkey Life

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