Monkey News

Ryan Air launch Calais/Dover Ferry Service

As a result of the pandemic, Ryan Air is reorganising its operation and bringing their low-cost travel model to the passenger ferry market. Ryan Ferry.

“With the drop off in demand for air travel, we see new opportunities in the cross-channel ferry market. Demand for transport to the UK, has risen dramatically in recent weeks.

Ryan Air believes that its low-cost operation will do for cross-channel ferries, what it has done for the airline industry. The company managed to acquire 50 rubber dingy’s from ‘some bloke’ they met outside a pub. They are guaranteed waterproof, and each one includes a puncture repair kit.

Copying the airline model, sailings will only take place when there are more passengers than seats, biscuits cost £14 for a packet of three, and bags are banned.

As part of Ryan Air’s commitment to be carbon-neutral by 2099, passengers will have to paddle their dingy across the channel. For a large fee, customers can upgrade to a non-paddling seat. Other ‘extras’ include; a Life-Jacket, sun-hat and the necessary paddle.

This new service keeps the Ryan Air tradition alive. We sell passengers a low-cost ticket with promises of fast and efficient travel, and once they’re on board, we fleece them for everything they’ve got. Anyone refusing to pay, has the option to swim, after all, it’s a free country.  What’s more, our landing points are miles away from anywhere, just like the real thing!

Ryan Air, Director of Customer Experience

To improve the customer experience, Ryan Air has negotiated a deal with the French authorities to waive customs and border checks. They claim that this avoids unnecessary delays on the beach.

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